♦ Let My Life Speak ♦
The last three years have been an incredible odyssey. I celebrated my 30th wedding anniversary and my 50th birthday, and engaged in the most amazing learning adventure of my life. Although the majority of my jobs in the last three decades have been related to teaching, the master’s degree program in College Student Affairs at Azusa Pacific University was my first experience in studying higher education. My graduate school experiences transformed how I perceive the world, and how I perceive myself. I connected theory to my advising practices, gained insight on the complexity of the collegiate journey, and acquired an understanding of my ‘white privilege’. I discovered that I too needed to look inside myself, as well as into my textbooks, to envision and create my future – something I have always encouraged my students to do. For three intense years, my professors, my cohort and my family have challenged and supported me as I embraced my true vocation.
I have been called to education from the core of my being. From my first job as a nursery school teacher and now as a college administrator and a parent, I have shared my enthusiasm and passion for learning - in all walks of my life. In the words of Parker Palmer, ‘teaching is at the heart of my vocation and will manifest itself in any role I play.’ I have always patterned my student interactions on my parenting style and in learning the Principles of Good Practice for Student Affairs I now have a professional framework that validates my approach to both. From active learning and accountability, to ethical values and building inclusive communities, my student affairs work is like parenting thousands of kids who are not my own. I rejoice when they succeed, and ache when they stumble; I praise and encourage them, I censure and challenge them – and I am fortunate to be engaged in work that gratifies and sustains me.
Uncovering my ‘situational’ leadership style, researching my own adult development and learning patterns, understanding the social capital that paves my path, and my identifying my StrengthFinder traits (inclusion, learner, positivity, responsibility, WOO) help explain how I became the woman I am today. My family has contributed tremendously to my evolution and I am incredibly thankful for the life I have been blessed to lead. My new exposure to the inner-workings of higher education and those we serve has deepened my commitment to teaching and learning. I have been renewed by my experiences in graduate school and apply my new wisdom at every opportunity.
My passion for learning, my positive and inclusive nature, and my desire to ‘win others over’, are perfectly matched to my work in outreach, recruitment, advising, program development, and in motivational and leadership roles. My obvious sincerity, my conscientiousness, forthrightness, and enthusiasm allow me to comfortably speak to a wide range of audiences. I want to help students understand that education poses questions, as well as presenting answers, contains roadblocks, detours, treasures, tedium and excitement, and bridges to multiple destinations. I tell students that they will have stumbles, as well as successes and will face moral and ethical choices that will shape their future. I want them to know that they need to reflect on how new knowledge supports or refutes their values, ethics and personal beliefs, and that college includes learning about themselves, providing the opportunity to realign the purpose and direction of their life path; to discover and pursue their own vocation.
Unfortunately, I only overcame some of my time management struggles during graduate school, and this is an area that I need to focus on improving. I understand that I commit excessive time to the tasks I enjoy most and rush through the work I find less rewarding. But as my technological abilities grow, automation is reducing some of the tedium, creating more time for student interactions. I need to learn to work smarter, hone my organizational skills and control my urge to volunteer for too much. My ‘responsibility’ trait sometimes overwhelms me and my conscientiousness drives me beyond the call of duty. Fortunately, my ‘positivism’, enthusiasm and optimism, keep my spirits buoyed and the energizer Tacy keeps on running. But I need to practice the ‘balance’ that I profess to my students, and remember to nurture and tend to my own needs, as I tend to the needs of others.
My immediate professional plans are to continue to cultivate the fledgling programs that I currently manage for the College of Engineering: the Honors Program, Outreach and Recruitment, Transfer Admissions, Education Abroad, and New Student Orientation. I inherited a couple of these roles simultaneously with beginning graduate school and created the other roles in response to student needs. All of my work, except the Honors Program, are part of larger campus wide initiatives, and I am only responsible for the Engineering student participants. This set-up provides me with the structure, and the freedom, to infuse the programs with ‘good practices’ and ‘learning reconsidered’. I enjoy the variety of work required by these programs and want to develop each into a substantial program with learning outcomes, and assessment measures to evaluate their effectiveness. The ‘learner’ in me will miss graduate school, but I am eager to use more of my creative energy on the endeavors entrusted to me by the Associate Dean and College Administration.
I am unsure how my role on campus will change in the future, and rather than making specific plans, I believe that way will open for me when the time is right. Perhaps I will pursue my interest in attracting, preparing and retaining a diverse female population in the STEM disciplines. Maybe I will design experiential and service learning programming and participate in more American Society of Engineering Educators activities. There are always new and exciting opportunities on my campus. I have been contacted by colleagues across campus about some wonderful career opportunities during the last year, and will be more open to trying something new now that I have completed my graduate degree.
Three years of graduate school and working full time has taken a toll on my loved ones, as I traded time with my family to immerse myself in academics. I am eager to spend more time with my elderly parents, my darling kids and my wonderful husband. I want to have a vegetable garden again, cook meals from scratch, have time to quilt and ride my bike. I want to walk on the beach with my sweetie and paint the bathroom. I want to have the whole family over for celebrations and not worry that I am slighting my studies, my loved ones, or both. My family’s support and love fuels my labors at work and allows me to pour my heart and soul into my career. I could not sustain my level of campus engagement without this constant encouragement and assistance.
In contemplating my vocation, I was reminded of the Susan B. Anthony biography that I read when I was very young. I was entranced by her commitment to her beliefs and by her accomplishments and I wanted to be like her. Ms. Anthony spoke the following words in 1863, “forget what the world will say, whether you are in your place or out of your place: think your best thoughts, speak your best words, do your best works, looking to your own conscience for approval,” and I began trying to live up to Susan’s words long before I understood the freedom, and responsibility, they represented. I am blessed to have been raised in a family that encourages deliberate contemplation, spirited individuality and independent thinking. I was taught that silence could be more damaging than falsehood, and that I had a responsibility to stand up for what I believed in. Long before I unveiled my calling, I knew that helping others attain their dreams would fulfill me and I regularly championed another’s cause with gusto. I speak my mind with conviction, passion and commitment, and match my words with action. At the end of the day I can usually say that I did my best and I gave my all and that I am fulfilled, rather than drained, by my efforts.
In living my life from the inside out, I am letting my life speak.
♦♦ Tacy